Ok... for the last few days I've been wrestling with a whole load of thoughts...

Well actually for the last couple of weeks...

And, tonight I had one of those flashes of intuition that is so awful it can only be true...

I've been puzzling over a sequence of events - of conversations and interactions that just seemd out of kilter - stuff that didn't match and wouldn't rest in my head...

I put it down to paranoia - too much thinking time... I blamed myself - told myself I'm overly emotional and too shallow at the same time...

But it wouldn't go away...

Things happened that were not logically consistent - made worse by the last part of the sequence...

So I started to think back - work through behavioural patterns - had this happened before? what was the sequence the last time this person was in a similar situation?

And - boom!

Yep, it all clicked together - the pieces that seemed wrong actually fitted perfectly - the choice of words - the use of the word "guilty" it all fell into place

Damn

Damn

Damn

So, it was wrong - I was right - it could have been even more painful

And I feel like a fool

And I am so angry

And it is so over...

That in its own way is healing...

Some of the noise stops... I can hear the wind and the rain again...